What's your Magic Tool?

Have you ever tried the latest diet, superfood, supplement regime, workout, healing modality, psychedelics, breathwork, meditation, movement, parenting advice, biohacking or [fill in the latest trend] that seemed to work magic for someone you know (or see on social media)?

I know I had!

And sometimes it helped, or at least it got me a step closer to where I want to be. But there were many that didn’t (or maybe just yet). For a long time I thought the problem was with me. I couldn’t for the life of me continue journaling, breathwork or meditation even though I knew they were useful. I couldn’t understand how to stay out of my head and tune into my bodily sensations to experience somatic releases that I desperately needed. I couldn’t convince myself to try ayahuasca or magic mushrooms (or the latest psychedelics out there) even though others swear their lives were transformed by the experience. I couldn’t get myself to continue eating more protein and do strength training even though I knew it would benefit me as I age. These are just a few of the helpful tools that I couldn’t sustain no matter how much it makes sense to me, mentally. And when I see others feeling better, sharing about how all these tools helped them, I felt like I was doing this healing thing all wrong, and started questioning myself “What am I not getting?”

So if you’ve experienced something similar, first know that you are not alone. And more importantly, you are not doing it wrong. In fact, it is so easy for us to fall into this pattern, especially when we are so driven to do whatever we can to heal or feel better (fast); to want to experience what others seem to be experiencing when they do certain things or live certain ways. It doesn’t help that social media only show us a glimpse of someone else’s life, which may not necessarily be a complete picture of reality. And we beat ourselves up for not ‘doing the work’ right to help ourselves, as we compare our progress with those of others.

It was only after learning more about the nervous system and taking the time to understand what’s going on in mine that I could finally appreciate why even the best tool, when used in the wrong context, person or moment, can have very different effects. This makes total sense to me and explains why we see how so many people can benefit from totally different ways of eating, exercising, healing, parenting…and just about anything to do with us being human. It is very tempting to follow what has worked for others, because as humans we tend to look for what’s been 'tried and tested' because it is easier. In some cases, it may be serve us well (or at least to get us started), but just because it worked for someone else doesn’t automatically mean that the same would happen for us. Because we are all starting at different points, with unique experiences imprinted in our nervous systems, which therefore require us to attend to it differently.

Just as I shared previously about the importance of first knowing how we want to live in order to know how to get there, it is equally important to be aware of where we are at now (our starting point) to help us find the best way to get to where we want to be. We are each on our very own path home, and following someone else’s path may only take us longer or worse, further away from where we truly want to be.

The truth is, there is no quick hack or short cut to finding our way home. It is only by doing the work of tuning in to ourselves regularly that we can reconnect with our inherent wholeness and understand our true needs from deep within. And with that comes the knowing, of the right tool for us that will help get us home.

And guess what? The amazing thing is there is no right or wrong way to do it. The only way is the one that you choose to commit to, for reasons you know feels right at any given point along your journey. Listen to your intuition and honor your own unique process. That's your true Magic Tool that no one else has. I am still learning to do this, one tiny step each day.

I have just finished the book The Nervous System Reset by Jessica Maguire (https://www.jessicamaguire.com/the-nervous-system-reset). I would really recommend it for anyone who wants to learn about mapping their own nervous system and how to apply the right tools in the right way. I plan to share more about what I've learned in the next post. Stay tuned!